Stand Up To Yourself

Don't Be A Looser. Parshat Vayetzei

Parsha Vayeitzei by Evan Green

Shalom Mishpacha,

As another Shabbat is almost upon us, I hope this email finds each of you doing well: happy and healthy. 

This week we have yet another jam-packed parsha (Torah portion) called Vayeitzei. When we last left off, our Torah spoke of Yaakov (Jacob) leaving his house to go to his Uncle Lavan’s, to both escape his brother and find a wife, at his mother Rivka’s request. 

Among the many things that occur this week: On the way, Yaakov stopped to sleep and dreamt of a ladder reaching heavenward, with angels ascending and descending (the famous Jacob’s Ladder). 

Hashem told Yaakov that He would give him the land upon which he slept. 

Yaakov was awed by this vision. He vowed that if G-d would protect him, he would dedicate his life to G-d and also give Hashem a tenth of his possessions (sound familiar?). Upon arrival, and seeing his relative Rachel with her father’s sheep, he knew this was to be his wife. 

Yaakov lifted the heavy stone atop the well for her, and returned with her to Lavan’s house. He made a deal to work for Lavan for seven years, and then marry Rachel. Lavan deceived Yaakov and substituted his older daughter Leah. 

Lavan told Yaakov that he could marry Rachel after the celebrations of the marriage to Leah – which we would do – but he would have to work another seven years.

The parsha also relates the birth of Yaakov’s children through Leah, Rachel, and their handmaids, Bilha and Zilpah.  One these children is Yehuda, my Hebrew name and I wanted to talk about the connection between Yehuda, Yehudim (i.e. us) and the ladder in this week’s parsha.  (For my American friends, you may also find a connection to a certain secular holiday taking place this weekend ;)).

If you were wondering why the Jewish are people called "Yehudim", you will of course read that historically this is because many of us come literally from the Kingdom of Yehuda (Judah), or more specifically the tribe of Yehudah. 

Yet, I like to continue to hold that we continue to have this name for a deeper and more significant reason. 

When our matriarch, Leah, gave birth to her fourth child, she called him Yehuda (from the Hebrew word for giving thanks and praise) to give thanks to Hashem for giving her more than her share. Yaakov had 4 wives and there was a prophecy that he would have 12 sons - so Leah gave thanks that the Almighty gave her more than her share (4 sons and not just 3 sons). 

We, as Yehudim, remain grateful to Hashem for giving us abundant blessings in our lives. This trait of gratitude is a pillar of who we are as Jews and why this name remains… and suits us well.

As Rabbi Kalman Packouz says: one has a choice in life to choose his/her attitude. How we view events depends on how we have trained ourselves to view what happens to us. One can see the glass half full or half empty in all cases. Long before the advent of psychology, the Torah taught us this important lessons about life. 

The Torah strongly emphasizes the character trait of gratitude both in the examples of our forefathers and mothers and in the commandments set forth for us to fulfill. For example, when the Jews crossed the Yam Soof (the Sea of Reeds) the first thing they did was to sing a song of thanks to the Almighty for saving them from the Egyptians. 

Farmers are instructed to bring up to Jerusalem the first fruits that their trees produce  as a sign of gratitude to Hashem for the blessing they have received. The Torah is filled with examples of gratitude and mitzvot focused on gratitude and honing this important character trait in life.  As Jews we are also blessed to know that there is someone there to thank.

In the Mishna (part of our Oral Torah), in Pirkei Avos (Ethics of the Fathers, a deep wellspring of wisdom for life) we read in 4:1, that Ben Zoma asks, "Who is the rich person?" and he answers, "One who is happy in his portion." 

The Torah is teaching us that if we want to be happy with our portion then we have to focus on our portion. We must learn to be happy with what we have and be ever thankful for what we have received in our lives. 

We often hear that we should make a list of all that we have to be grateful for: that you can breathe, that you can see, that you can hear, that you can think, that you can walk, for your friends, your family, your house, your lunch, etc... We hear that we should constantly review and add to the list. This is sound advice. 

The Torah is also teaching us that we should thank Hashem for all of this... every day.

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it”. William Arthur Ward

To help us on the way, the Sages of the Talmud set forth a practical daily program - our own personal training program - to develop the character trait of gratitude. 

As Jews, the first words we utter in the morning are the "Modeh ani lefanecha" - "I give thanks before You". We wake up each day with the words “thank you” on our lips. 

Thank you for giving me another day of life in this beautiful world, we say. What a beautiful way to start the day: filled with joy and gratitude for this gift called life and humbled before the giver of this gift. 

In fact, three times a day - the morning, the afternoon, the night – we stop what we are doing and take a moment to focus on Hashem, on our blessings, and we give thanks. Three times a day the prayer service trains us to develop spirituality by focusing on gratitude. 

In the morning prayer service we start out with a series of blessings thanking Hashem for: our eyes, that we can see, that we can move our bodies, that we have clothes and shoes, that we have another opportunity to fulfill our commandments, to improve ourselves and Hashem’s world. Things we make take for granted in life, our prayers offer us an opportunity to give thanks for.

I am thankful for this personal training program and for prayer overall. As it has strengthened my sense of gratitude, it has also helped me to not take things for granted. 

This great power of prayer is often underestimated, in fact. This week’s parsha comes to teach us an important lesson about prayer: Rabbi Mordechai Katz notes, regarding the Torah’s discussion of the ladder in Yaakov’s dream that the "gematria" (numerical value – as we know each Hebrew letter is also a number) of the Hebrew words for "ladder" and "voice" are equivalent. 

From this we learn an interesting symbolism says Rabbi Katz: just as the ladder in Yaakov's dream connected the earth to heaven allowing the angels to ascend and descend on it, so do our voices - i.e., our prayers - connect us to the heavens. 

When we reach out to Hashem from the depths of our souls with our words (and our thoughts), we create that ladder... we connect. And the connection is both real and powerful: our words do ascend and there is a reaction as well.

Rabbi Zalman Posner takes this one step further and notes that it is obvious that our real prayers should reach heaven; that prayer "stands on earth" is less clear. Rabbi Posner points again to the angels ascending AND descending on the ladder. 

It would seem to be a two-way street. Hashem does respond, whether we can comprehend the response or not. In addition, he states that the Jewish conception of prayer treats it not as in and of itself, but rather as an instrument. 

Prayer is effective not in its effect on G-d but in its influence on us! I cannot disagree. I think we might find that the more we reach out and thank, the more thankful we might become.

May we all continue the legacy of gratitude that defines us as Yehudim and may we use the gift of prayer to create the ladder that connects heaven and earth.

Shabbat Shalom!

A Ladder to Heaven

By Yossy Goldman

So what's the best way to get to heaven? Walk across a busy highway? Perform some amazing act of faith? Save a thousand lives? Well, a pretty good answer may be found in this week's Parshah.

We read the story of Jacob's dream and the famous ladder with its feet on the ground and head in the heavens. "And behold the angels of G-d were ascending and descending on it."

Let me ask you what they might call inYiddish, a klotz kashe (simplistic question). Do angels need a ladder? Everyone knows angels have wings, not feet. So, if you have wings, why would you need a ladder?

There is a beautiful message here.

In climbing heavenward one does not necessarily need wings. Dispense with the dramatic. Forget about fancy leaps and bounds. 

There is a ladder, a spiritual route clearly mapped out for us; a route that needs to be traversed step-by-step, one rung at a time. The pathway to Heaven is gradual, methodical and eminently manageable.

Many people are discouraged from even beginning a spiritual journey because they think it needs that huge leap of faith. They cannot see themselves reaching a degree of religious commitment which to them seems otherworldly. And yet, with the gradual step-by-step approach, one finds that the journey can be embarked upon and that the destination aspired to is actually not in outer space.

When I was growing up in Brooklyn, I would pass a very big building on my way to school every morning. It was the King's County Savings Bank. 

All these years later I still remember the Chinese proverb that was engraved over the large portals at the entrance to the bank. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step." 

Now that's not only Chinese wisdom; we Jews agree. And it's not limited to starting a savings plan. It is a simple yet powerful idea that it need not be "all or nothing."

What do you think is a rabbi's fantasy? A guy walking into my office and saying, "Rabbi, I want to become 'frum' (fully observant), now tell me what I must do"? 

Is that what I lie awake dreaming of? And if it did happen, do you think I would throw the book at him and insist he did every single mitzvah from that moment on? Never! 

Why not? Because a commitment like that is usually here today and gone tomorrow. Like the popular saying goes, "Easy come, easy go." I'm afraid I haven't had such wonderful experiences with the "instant Jew" types. 

The correct and most successful method of achieving our Jewish objectives is the slow and steady approach. Gradual, yet consistent. As soon as one has become comfortable with one mitzvah, it is time to start on the next, and so on and so forth. 

Then, through constant growth, slowly but surely we become more knowledgeable, committed, fulfilled and happy in our faith.

When my father was in yeshiva, his teacher once asked the following question: "If two people are on a ladder, one at the top and one on the bottom, who is higher?" The class thought it was a pretty dumb question -- until the wise teacher explained that they were not really capable of judging who was higher or lower until they first ascertained in which direction each was headed.

If the fellow on top was going down, but the guy on the bottom was going up, then conceptually, the one on the bottom was actually higher.

And so my friends, it doesn't really matter what your starting point is or where you are at on the ladder of religious life. As long as you are moving in the right direction, as long as you are going up, you will, please G-d, succeed in climbing the heavenly heights.

Wishing you a safe and successful journey.

VaYeze: Searching for G-d 

Rabbi Jay Kelman

Yakov is fleeing home - afraid that his brother will try to kill him. Night is coming and presumably he has been running all day. He is tired and quickly falls asleep - even with a rock as his pillow. But what a "dream" he had! 

": behold there is G-d in this place and I did not know that" (28:16). What exactly was Yaakov thinking? Did he really think that G-d only exists in certain places? Did he not know that which we all do that the "earth is filled with His glory". 

Even more perplexing is Yaakov's reaction when morning arrived. "And Jacob awoke early in the morning...and Jacob made a vow saying: if G-d will be with me and guard me on the path that I am taking"(28:20). 

Did he not trust in the promise, "and I will be with you and guard you wherever you go" (v.15)? And most difficult of all to comprehend is Yaakov's promise to give charity - conditionally, "if I return in peace to my father's home and the Lord will be My G-d...I will set aside a tenth to You". 

It's bad enough Yaakov questioning whether he will return home after G-d explicitly promises he will; but to wonder if G-d will be his G-d seems a bit too much. Had this not been Yaakov Avinu I might think we were dealing with an agnostic. 

After all he appears unsure where G-d might be and uncertain that there is a G-d to accompany him. I can understand that an agnostic might speak this way but the one who would be the father of bnei Yisrael? 

Our commentaries have struggled with these questions - suggesting that Yaakov was afraid that perhaps his sins might cause G-d to "renege" on His promise - a sign of the modesty of Jacob, though perhaps a misunderstanding of G-d's promise.

Perhaps our difficulty stems from the fact that we have a rather simplistic notion of what it means to have G-d be with us. If one explains it to mean that "you will worship G-d and remain righteous" (Malbim v.21) the picture becomes a lot clearer.  

Yaakov Avinu was quite aware that G-d is everywhere. What Yaakov Avinu did not know was that He could easily be worshipped anywhere. Yaakov had spent the first years of his life in the land of Israel, the land that G-d chose for His people. 

And G-d opens his prophecy to Yaakov with the words "the land upon which you are sleeping I will give it and to your descendants" (v.14). He had seen that his father Yitzchak had never left Israel with G-d commanding him not to even consider doing so (26:1). 

Worshipping G-d in a foreign land is apparently very difficult. "Whoever lives outside the land it is as if they are worshipping idols" (Ketuvot 110b). Yaakov may have had to flee from his brother, but he truly feared that he was leaving the presence of G-d, going to a G-d forsaken land. As he was about to leave Israel G-d wanted to let him know that one can develop a relationship with and be a servant of G-d wherever one may find oneself. 

Israel may be the centre of Jewish life but there is much happening on the periphery too. Jewish history may have Israel as its destiny but our history was formed outside of Israel - first with the birth of Yaakov's children, (save Benjamin) and later in Egypt.

The Malbim notes that G-d never actually promised Yaakov that He would remain his G-d. Worshiping G-d and remaining righteous is not up to G-d - "All is in the hands of heaven save for the fear of heaven".

Yaakov was beginning a long journey outside of the land of Israel, and he was afraid he would be unable to maintain his righteousness away from home. Yet during his over 20 years of "exile" Yaakov was transformed from anish tam, "a scholarly man dwellings in the tent" (25:27) into one who could also be a "man of the field". 

Yaakov faced many difficulties during his time away, difficulties that fortified his character. Most importantly G-d was with him on his journey; or more precisely, Yaakov remained faithful to the traditions of his father and grandfather ensuring that G-d would remain his G-d. Yaakov could proudly say "with Lavan I lived and the 613 mitzvot I kept" (see Rashi 32:4) thereby laying the foundation stone of the Jewish people.  

Joining Worlds

By Tali Loewenthal

The dream of the ladder in our Parshah is something that has captivated people's imaginations for thousands of years. Jacob, the ancestor of the Jewish people, was on a journey going far away from home. The sun set, and he lay down and slept, dreaming of a ladder reaching from earth to heaven.

The basic perspective of Judaism is that "earth" -- meaning practical, physical life, in all its detail, and "heaven," meaning spirituality and holiness, are closely connected.

In every area of activity we have the opportunity to express this connection. The physical details of Jewish law provide the guidance how to achieve this.

For example, the Zohar tells us that the ladder in Jacob's dream represents prayer. Like the ladder, prayer reaches from earth to heaven. It is the means for every individual person to connect with G-d.

The prayer service has different sections. In the morning service there is the preliminary part of the prayers, then the Shema, then the Amidah. These are different stages, similar to the rungs of a ladder. 

During the service the person is climbing higher and higher, reaching ever closer to G-d. The highest stage is the Amidah prayer, in which you stand in the immediate presence of G-d, as in the throne room, and you speak directly to Him.

Following this interpretation, the angels going up the ladder in Jacob's dream represent the words of prayer. The words coming from our mouths and our hearts rise up to G-d. They carry with them a little bit of the radiance of our soul: our feelings of love and dedication.

The angels coming down the ladder are the messengers from G-d carrying Divine blessing to the person who is praying, to his or her family, to the community, to the Jewish people and the entire world.

After having the dream of the ladder Jacob made a declaration establishing the bond between another version of these two worlds. One world is that of his own personal material success. The other is holiness. How can these two be joined?

Jacob said to G-d, "...of whatever You give me, I will give a tenth to You" (Genesis 28:22). By giving a proportion of his income to charity, Jacob was ensuring that all his wealth was tinged with holiness. 

Because every hundred pieces of silver he earned meant an extra ten pieces of silver would be used for a sacred purpose. Thus two worlds are joined: the material and the holy, like earth and heaven.

Through the ages Jews have tried to follow Jacob's example, giving a tenth of their income to charity. This practice has been a vital factor in the preservation of the Jewish ideal, learnt from Jacob's dream: to seek in every aspect of life, whether in prayer or at work in the office, to join earth and heaven.

Kindest regards,

Evan D. Green

Partner and International Project/Programme Manager

Le Groupe-conseil Baastel ltee

(819) 595-1421 ext.228 cell: (819) 329-4490

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"It is our collective and individual responsibility to protect and nurture the global family, to support its weaker members, and to preserve and tend to the environment in which we all live" -the Dalai Lama

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The Life of Sara - True Life After Death

This week’s Torah portion is called "The Life of Sarah." It’s both incredibly moving and deeply inspiring. Yet a quick read brings to mind a seriously puzzling question!

We see that almost the entire Torah portion is dealing with the time period after Sara’s passing.  So, why is the portion called: "the life of Sarah"?  Wouldn't it have been more appropriate or effective if the title were called something like: "the passing of Sarah"?

Is the Torah offering us yet another profound lesson here, in both this parsha’s content and the seeming disconnect between its narrative and its title?

As parents you try as hard as you can to prepare your children for the many challenges and opportunities that Hashem may present them with in life. We teach and invest in them from out of our deepest, values, beliefs and ambitions.

 In the case of this week’s Torah portion though, Abraham had 2 children from 2 very different wives.

Each one of his wives instilled in their respective child, a very different message or perspective on the "Path of Abraham". The question is - which child will keep the true path of Abraham alive?

Sara invested her entire life, her entire being into Isaac.  The very purpose of her life was to insure that her son would perpetuate her legacy as the first Jewish woman alive into successive generations. And of course, Jacob and then Joseph were here grand and great grand-children respectively!

Who would continue lighting Sara’s Shabbat candles? Who would continue the laws of Jewish family purity? Who would say words of Psalms through streaming tears for her children? This week’s Torah portion answers these critical questions:

Sarah’s son Isaac finds a beautiful and pure Jewish wife Rebbecca. Rebbecca will keep Sara's legacy alive. She will continue the chain of the Jewish people on the path laid out before them by Abraham Our Father.

It is only now that we can say: "Sarah" is alive (in this Torah based way)! She will live on through her children and in turn through our children, thanks to her. That’s why this week’s Torah Portion of Isaac's marriage to Rebecca is called: "The Life of Sarah"!

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Shalom Mishpacha,

Greetings from Guyana. With another beautiful Shabbat almost upon us, I hope this email finds everyone well: happy and healthy. As we continue with the first of the five books of our Chumash - Sefer Bereishit (Genesis) - we have another jam-packed parsha (Torah portion) with a number of stories that may be etched in our memories.

To name just a few: As Avraham was recuperating from his own brit milah (circumcision), he was sitting outside his tent and sees three people walking by and offers them a rest stop and food. They in fact were messenger angels from G-d, who told him that Sarah would have a son next year, and that God was about to wipe out the evil city of Sodom (and the surrounding cities). 

Avraham prayed for the people of Sodom and tries to entreat Hashem to spare the people. The messengers continued to Sodom, and were invited home by Lot. The people came to attack them, as their city was against hospitality and any form of kindness. 

The messengers struck them blind, and told Lot to flee with his family, and not to look back. They ran, but his wife looked back and became a pillar of salt. The cities were destroyed. 

Later, Sarah gave birth to Yitzchak (Isaac), whom Avraham circumcised when he was eight days old. We also have the telling of the Akeidah, wherein God tested Avraham and told him to bring his son Yitzchak as an offering. 

At the last moment, a voice from heaven stopped him, telling him that he had proven his faith in Hashem. 
Avraham offered a ram instead. G-d blessed him again that he would have many descendants.

This week we once again get to learn more about Avraham Avinu (our Father) and the traits he embodied. In so doing, we also learn about ourselves, as his descendants, and more about what it means to live a life of Torah and as a Jew. 

In addition to being the embodiment of emunah (faith) and bitachon (trust) in Hashem, Avraham was the model of "chesed" (loving kindness) as we see demonstrated in his "hachnasat orchim" (hospitality to guests). Even while recovering from his brit milah and despite the intense heat, Avraham still extended tremendous hospitality to the three visitors. 

What's more, Rabbi Mordechai Katz points out, Avraham ensured that his guests would feel like they were not imposing, promising them a mere "morsel of bread", yet giving them an elaborate meal. (Our sages teach that the tzadikkim (the righteous) say little, but do much).

Just to add another layer of depth: the Torah states: "G-d appeared unto him [Abraham] in the fields of Mamre, as he sat at the door of the tent in the heat of the day." The Talmud teaches us that Avraham was sitting at the door of his tent so that he would look for wayfarers to invite into his home for rest and refreshment. 

As Rabbi Abraham Twerski notes, Avraham was so much the personification of chesed and was so drawn to acts of kindness that he actively sought opportunities to perform them. 

The midrash states that Hashem ensured that the day would be hot in order to help with Avraham’s healing and to deter wayfarers from passing by, so as to give Avaraham a rest. But, we learn, this saddened Avraham. Although he was experiencing physical pain, he was much more pained by not being able to reach out to and care for others. What a model he always has been and remains for us today.

Avraham lived and breathed the trait of chessed. But he lived and breathed so many other beautiful traits as well. One of these is humility. As Rabbi Zelig Pliskin says, to an arrogant person, everyone is considered beneath him/her. 

But a humble person considers everyone to be important. He/she honors and respects everyone and considers giving to any person as a personal favor to him. Avraham was such a person. Although the three visitors appeared to be mere nomads, Avraham ran to greet them and bowed down before them.

Avraham (and our Torah) teach us that it is indeed an honor to do kindnesses for others. It is we who gain something when we give to others.

And one last point on this special Jewish patriarch (though one could go on for a while): it is interesting to notice that Sodom stood for everything that Avraham did not stand for. Evil, a lack of respect and love for others, immorality, a lack of justice: these only begin to paint the gruesome picture that was this city. 

And yet, when Hashem was about to destroy them, who attempts to come to their aid? Avraham. He tried very hard, in fact. His chesed knew no bounds... even for those who certainly would not have reciprocated the love. He prayed to save them, though they did not stand for what he stood, to say the least. Our world today could use a bit of Avraham’s ways. Indeed, this love for others, is the Jewish way.

The Baal Shem Tov (Rabbi Yisrael ben Eliezer, the founder of Chassidism, 17^th-18^th C, Poland) teaches that the way to achieve the love of G-d is to love other people. I once saw a beautiful quote (but do not know the source): "That we live is a gift from G-d, how we live is our gift to G-d."

May Hashem strengthen each of us to bring a little Avraham into our world.

- Shabbat Shalom